Monday, 15 January 2018

No sample cleared

Nice & Smooth - We Are No. 1
(From Nice & Smooth album; 1989)



Dunno if anybody else has noticed this, but Nice & Smooth's We Are No. 1 seems to have been removed from all streaming services. Why couldn't God have taken Something I Can't Explain instead, right? Think of We Are No. 1 as one of the first successful attempts at Boom-Wop, just don't think of calling the lawyers representing Joe Cocker's estate.

Anybody else got any examples of random songs from rap albums which have been removed from streaming services due to sample clearance?

Wednesday, 10 January 2018

Generic list post: 1988 was 30 years ago!

30 legit jams from the year that Heathers was released, Kenneth Williams was declared deceased, and the number of great rap albums significantly increased.

Slick Rick - The Moment I Feared
Eric B. & Rakim - Lyrics Of Fury
N.W.A - Straight Outta Compton
Eazy-E - Eazy-Er Said Than Dunn
EPMD - You Gots To Chill
LL Cool J - Jack The Ripper
Public Enemy - Black Steel In The Hour Of Chaos
Run D.M.C - Beats To The Rhyme
Ice-T - Drama
Ultramagnetic M.C's - Kool Keith Housing Things
Marley Marl ft. The Juice Crew - The Symphony
Kool G. Rap & D.J. Polo - Poison
Big Daddy Kane - Set It Off
Biz Markie - Vapors (LP Version)
MC Shan - So Def
DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince - Brand New Funk
45 King ft. MC La Kim - We Got The Funk
Lakim Shabazz - All True And Living
Queen Latifah - Wrath Of My Madness
Too $hort - City Of Dope
Positive K ft. King Of Chill - Step Up Front (3 Heineken Technique)
MC Lyte - Paper Thin
J.V.C. Force - Strong Island
Sir Mix-A-Lot - Posse On Broadway
Jungle Brothers - Because I Got It Like That
De La Soul - Jenifa Taught Me (Derwin's Revenge)
Tuff Crew - My Part Of Town
Doug E. Fresh & The Get Fresh Crew - Keep Rising To The Top
Cool C - Down To The Grissle
Tone Loc - Wild Thing

Sunday, 7 January 2018

I got a bucket but that bih feel foreign

70th Street Carlos - I Bet You Won't (Remix)
(From YouTube; 2017)



Like the Laughing Stock lads once said - Life's What You Make It. This shit's nutty like Carlos is the pecan mane, so ya host had to give this one more than a mere honourable mention. Very raer modern remix which is a remix in the traditional sense of the word.

Thursday, 4 January 2018

Rob Peter to pay lipservice to Paul

"Post Malone wanna be black
He gettin' rap money, but he tryna downplay rap
*Ima smack him!*
Paul Rosenberg called him out on that
I hope G-Eazy don’t do nothing stupid like that
*He better not!*"


Uncle Murda - Rap Up 2017
(From t'internet; 2017)



Dead @ Uncle Murda confusing Peter Rosenberg with Paul Rosenberg on his 2017 Rap Up. Nine minutes long, though? Are they pressing this up in a Sugar Hill Records sleeve for Record Store Day 2018 or summat?

Tuesday, 2 January 2018

I Bet U Won't look good on the dancefloor

The data has been compiled, the numbers have been crunched, and the conclusion is official: the I Bet U Won't Challenge was officially the best viral dance #challenge of 2017. Best song, funniest videos, most durability over the span of 12 months, first opportunity to point out that Peter Pan Dan is really Turkish from Arsenal Fan TV in disguise. You did it, Baton Rouge, you did it!


Here at The Martorialist we can forgive/forget Mouse's awful 2017 album of Atlantafied industry pandering purely off the strength of I Bet U Won't blowing up.

Saturday, 30 December 2017

Generic list post: December 2017

A post shared by Einer Bankz (@einerbankz) on


Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when 70th Street Carlos Unplugged happened. Catch you in 2018.

Quelle Chris ft. DJ House Shoes - BS Vibes (2017)
Boosie BadAzz - Webbie I Remember (2017)
Maine Musik - Soulja Slim Flow (2017)
Tay B ft. FMB DZ - Back 2 Back Part 2 (2017)
DJ Consequence ft. YCEE - In A Benz (2016)
Diron Animal - Don't Stop (2017)
Tove Lo - Shedontknowbutsheknows (2017)

Other notables: a very pleasant surprise to hear a Public Enemy homage in 2017 with Scarface's Black Still; fair play to 70th Street Carlos for doing an I Bet U Won't remix in the old fashioned sense of the word remix; never seen an episode of Kenan & Kel in my life, so Nef The Pharaoh's jack of the theme song is wasted on me; Step One found a good Black Rob deep cut from way back, but I've really gotta be in a certain type of mood to listen to Rob rhyme about hammering nails into someone's nipples.

Thursday, 28 December 2017

The Duke Bootees of Hazard

"Every time I go out bitches notice me
BAPE hoodie zipped to the top, how they know it's me?"


Tay B ft. FMB DZ - Back 2 Back Part 2
(From AFLN King album; 2017)



Via ANU. Time waits for no one, but The Message beatjacks are eternal like East 1999 innit. The history books might never give Duke Bootee proper credit for the song he composed, wrote, and rapped on before Melle Mel added a recycled verse, but can't nobody hold that beat down.

For whatever reason, 2017 Detroit street rap makes the most sense to me within the context of beatjacking: this song, Doughboyz Cashout's This Is How We Move It, AllStar Lee's The Fresh Prince Of Brick Mile, and FMB DZ's Friday.

Tuesday, 26 December 2017

Devin The Rude

"Ain't nuthin' I can say to keep her away, she be on me
You treat her coochie like sushi, to me it's a buncha baloney"


Devin The Dude - Yo' Ho
(From the Just Tryin' Ta Live advance; 2002)



Upped this for someone a couple weeks back so I might as well throw it up here too. Basically, the lost Dr. Dre track from the advance version of Devin's Just Tryin' Ta Live which ended up getting removed from the retail version of the album. This one was floating around on Soulseek/Kazaa back in 2002, and later turned up under a different title on one of the cash-in albums Rap-A-Lot released in the late noughties after Devin had left the label. Maybe Dre did J. Prince a two-tracks-for-one deal in exchange for Devin's contributions to Fuck You, but I'm still confused, bamboozled and bullshitted why Yo' Ho got cast into obscurity.

Sunday, 24 December 2017

Craig Level Horwood

In 1998 all Max Minelli wanted for Christmas was "12 gold teeth, a fresh candy blue jeep, and a .44 heat". In 2017 all I want to find in my Christmas stocking tomorrow morning is that remake of Dolamite's Hustlas which Big Choo's been teasing on Instagram all year.


It's bad enough when rappers post an Instagram teaser and then take forever to drop the song; what really takes the piss is when they post countless Instagram teasers of the same song but never actually drop the damn thing.

Bah Humrush.

Friday, 22 December 2017

Martorial elegance # 90

Comin' to the Martorialist Big Cartel store this festive period, the perfect Christmas gift for any rap fans who remember the '90s:


For a 20% discount use the secrete promo code BeatsRhymesAndFacts.


*Edit* Thanx to King Kos for this ^^^^^

Tuesday, 19 December 2017

Born to Audiomack: 2017 late pass! (final chapter)

Already blown my creative load describing this playlist in a previous post, so alls I'll say for this valedictory re-up is that it's an Audiomack treasure trove of new-to-me old rap songs ya host discovered in 2017. Who dat? Tracks by Biz Markie; Dru Down; Luniz; Dolamite; Teddy featuring Dru Down & Yukmouth; Eightball & MJG; Juvenile & The Big Tymers; the Dungeon Family; Mobb Deep; Fat Tone; NORE; J-Diggs; PC Tweezie & Murk; Level & Mouse On Tha Track; Valee; and Team Toon & Ya Boy Big Choo.



Dave Dreez bonus beats: props to Drake for reminding me of Max B's No Competition with this recent SoManyShrimp mix. Very welcome appearances by Rydah J. Klyde's Tell Me and AZ's City Of Gods too.

Sunday, 17 December 2017

Nigerian Whip

Late pass! Another unfortunate consequence of Brexit is that Nigerian Afro-Bashment Grime is now officially better than proper British Dunkirk spirit Grime. Not a particularly impressive feat on paper since the only Legit Jam™ of the traditional British boutique-Grime revival is that Stormzy tune with the prophetic David Moyes zinger, but a banger is a banger no matter the competition and this bangs:

DJ Consequence ft. YCEE - In A Benz
(From In A Benz single; 2016)



Bit unfair that YCEE is now the Juice guy when Omo Alhaji is still his best song. Bitch, there's consequences if your wrong track blows up. *EDIT* Bitch, there's also coincidences when Maine Musik drops a Soulja Slim tribute over the Consequences beat on the same damn day I dropped this post:

Maine Musik - Soulja Slim Flow
(From t'internet; 2017)


Thursday, 14 December 2017

The obligatory best rap songs of 2017 post

Question: Who is Will High's least favorite premier league footballer?
Answer: Alex Cannibal Oxlade-Chamberlain!



2017: the year when ya host went from gettin' views with the bloggin' to makin' the news with the bloggin'. The Martorialist: officially the only rap blog to inspire a Mac Dre weed carrier to record a Ludacris dis in 2017.

Had a blast with the bloggin' this year even though I don't understand what's going on in rap anymore: A$AP Folky Malone is bigger than ever; New York rap somehow continues to get worse and worse; the main artists who fall under the umbrella of Soundcloud-rap are almost universally terrible to my ears; mid-tempo trap beats with that same damn drum pattern are a billion times more played out than Kwame's polka dots could ever be; and people are actually spending their time watching videos of Joe Budden and DJ Akademiks argue about music rather than spend their time actually listening to music.

Oh well - at least I heard less Drake songs than any year since 2010 and didn't have the misfortune to stumble on a single KanYe West think-piece all year. And then there were these songs which made all the other bullshit in rap tolerable. As ever, no order of preference, but I'm gonna do things slightly different this post:

Best old songs which were finally released this year:
Camp Lo - Camp Lo (Bust Ya Down)
T-Pain & Lil' Wayne - Listen To Me
MF DOOM & Madlib - Avanlache

Best songs from 2015/early 2016 which blew up this year:
Level & Mouse On Tha Track - I Bet You Won't
Valee - Shell (O.G version)

Best songs of the past year:
OMB Peezy - Lay Down (O.G version)
Quelle Chris - Buddies
70th Street Carlos - Bag It Up
70th Street Carlos & WNC Whop Bezzy - Trell
Creek Boyz - With My Team (O.G version)
French Montana ft. Swae Lee - Unforgettable
Open Mike Eagle - Brick Body Complex
Queen Key - My Way or Kung Fu
Baby Soulja ft. Boosie BadAzz - Dirty
Boosie BadAzz - Webbie I Remember
Migos - T-Shirt
Nef The Pharaoh - My Way (Freestyle)
Tay-K - The Race
Rich The Factor ft. The Popper - Aristocrat
SOB X RBE - Humble
Doughboyz Cashout ft. B. Ryan - This Is How We Move It
Rich Homie Quan - Word Of Mouth
Yung Cat - Killa City Party
Count Bass D ft. Snoop Dogg - Too Much Pressure
GoldLink ft. Brent Faiyaz & Shy Glizzy - Crew
Dru Down - My 501's
Poohman ft. Yukmouth, Keak Da Sneak & Dru Down - Cookies & Drank
Street Knowledge - Dru Down Flow
BallGreezy ft. Lil' Dred - Nice & Slow
Kodak Black - Patty Cake
AllStar Lee - The Fresh Prince Of Brick Mile
Lor Choc - Fast Life
Shabazz Palaces ft. Thaddillac - Shine A Light
Ralo - Calm Down Ralo
Roc Marciano - Killing Time
Que Almighty ft. 70th Street Carlos & JMM Larry - Put That On Gang
Ayo & Teo - Lit Right Now
Mozzy - Sleep Walkin'
Maine Musik - Soulja Slim Flow

Best rap song with no rapping:
8 Bit Universe - XO Tour Llif3 (8 Bit Remix)

Best songs featuring British people rapping:
J Hus - Did You See
MoStack - Let It Ring
Sneakbo ft. Giggs - Active

If you're the person who turns this post into a playlist then do it on YouTube. A handful of these songs aren't on Spotify/Apple etc in any form, and I don't cosign those jankey re-recorded versions of Lay Down and With My Team or the extended version of Shell on all the official streaming sites.

Related: the best non-rap songs of 2017 IMO.

Tuesday, 12 December 2017

2017's best non-rap songs IMO

Beanie Sigel didn't do much, in 2017 non-rap music didn't do much for ya host. Whether this was down to me or the music is up for debate, but a buncha my favourite artists of recent years didn't deliver in 2017: Spice fired blanks all year; Kwamz & Flava dropped a string of forgettable singles; Dexta Daps seemed to run out of catchy choonz; Tinashe ain't made shit dope since Touch Pass in 2016; Shift K3Y's best song of 2017 was merely aiight; and New Age Muzik are still stuck in Two Song Wonder limbo.

Weird thing is, I wasn't particularly arsed because it just meant the songs I loved felt like they were minor miracles, and it gave me more time to go back and discover/rediscover gems from the past. Here's 20 songs which I truly, madly, deeply lurved this year; no order of preference but Tove Lo's Disco Tits is by far my favorite 2017 song of the non-rap variety innit:


Favourite non-rap songs of 2017:
Tove Lo - Disco Tits
Fifth Harmony - He Like That
Ty Dolla $ign - Message In A Bottle
Jacquees & Dej Loaf - At The Club
Busy Signal - Go Again
Wande Coal & DJ Tunez - Iskaba
Diron Animal - Don't Stop
Donae'o - Black/Bounce (Social Circles Remix)
Jorja Smith - On My Mind
The Style Council - Long Hot Summer (Chuggz Refix)

Favourite non-rap song discoveries/rediscoveries of 2017:
The Phantom - Love Me (1960)
Al Green - Dream (1977)
The Brat - Leave Me Alone (1980)
Haircut 100 - Ski Club (1982)
Fun Boy Three - Best Of Luck Mate (1982)
Ago - Stop Your Life (1982)
Junei - Let's Ride (1987)
George Michael - Kissing A Fool (1987)
Wamdue Kids - Hypnotize (1995)
Tove Lo - Bitches (2016)

Warning: do not click that Tove Lo Bitches link if you're in work/on public transport/chillin' with your kid.

Sunday, 10 December 2017

Step In The Arena

Jack The Snipper the man not the myth AKA DJ Step One. Three will forever be the magic number, so here's a trifecta of incredible and very crucial edits Step made on my behalf. Shout out to Shifty Shellshock, Doggy Dogg, and Billy Brown - we in this bitch!



Basically, Lil' Peep's best song minus the guest ponce with the lisp who sounds like he belongs hosting a Pitchfork podcast about K-Pop groups. Think Lil' Peep was just the Yank mallrat version of Milkavelli? No problemo, because this Girls edit works best if you envision it as a comeback single by the Butterfly band instead.



Lady Of Rage's Afro Puffs is a perfect song which didn't require any sort of alternate mix, but that extended version of the remix with Snoop's freestyle intro is way too good to waste on a track that's otherwise superfluous. Hence, I got Step to weld the intro together with the outro where Snoop extols Rage's virtues. The result? The 2nd best Snoop song not from Doggystyle.



The strip club scene in Buffalo '66 is one of cinema's most beautifully choregraphed fusions of music and moving image, but ain't naan a non-Prog Rock fan wanna listen to Yes' Heart Of The Sunrise once the tempo switches and the eunoch from Yorkshire starts singing. Step snipped that shit off at the exact moment the song pulls its okie-doke, binned the remaining 7 minutes of gentile flotsam & jetsam, and left us with an instrumental babel which spans time, space and titties.

Friday, 8 December 2017

Obligatory annual post about some U.K Road Rap tune

"Man touch road like a cab man
Old skool, man just jump out with mad man
No tool, man just jump out and grab man
Man's been known as the bad man
Man jump out, chop, kebab man
Local, man jump out, pop and bag man
Phone call, man just boxed up and bat man
Pop up, man like Sneakbo & Batman"


Sneakbo ft. Giggs - Active
(From Active single/FIFA 18 soundtrack; 2017)



Man'll take this Jetski & Hollowman business over ALL that U.K faux-Drill bollocks. Man'd rather catch the Holy Ghost to a proper spooky vocal sample as opposed to some played-out monochromatic production with Stars & Stripes in its eyes.

PS: my last post about Giggs was a bit of a classic if I do say so meself.

Wednesday, 6 December 2017

Reasons why I love YouTube: Drew's Down

Cheers to Tha Barber for sending this clip my way - Dru Down performing Baby Bubba and Can You Feel Me to a bunch of confused teenagers on Teen Summit in 1996. Skip forward to the 4 minute mark unless you wanna see Mos Def trying to interview DJ Hiro and an awkward performance by some Rhode Island dance troupe:


Speaking of Tha Barber, when is Drew gonna drop an Old Rap Shit column about the Suge Knight versus Kevin Federline beef? Not so much a case of Suge playing Chris Crocker, more another instance of Suge's utter contempt for dudes who got their start "all up in the videos.. dancing!"


Bonus beats: that 2017 remake of M.C. Pooh's 1990 slap classico Fuckin' With Dank featuring Yukmouth, Keak Da Sneak & Dru Down is way better than it has any right to be:

Poohman ft. Yukmouth, Keak Da Sneak & Dru Down - Cookies & Drank
(From t'internet; 2017)


Monday, 4 December 2017

Angola's alright...

Angola's alright if you like beaches and sisters! Angola's alright if you don't like Jazz! Angola's alright if you like tropical country's which actually have seasons! Angola's alright if you like undeniable pop bangeurs built on synthetic saxobeat riffs!

Diron Animal - Don't Stop
(From Alone album; 2017)



Damn, homie - even Mystic Meg couldn't have predicted that 2017's entry in the In The Dark-core canon would be some random Afrobeats jam outta Angola which currently has less than 7 thousand views on the 'Tube.

Saturday, 2 December 2017

I got a friend with a poll in the basement

G'z up, who's down for a Foe Life versus Connected For Life poll? Mack 10's best solo bam-bam versus the last classic song Ice Cube was involved in; peak G-Funk versus Mannie Fresh goes to Inglewood. Choose wisely like you're a panelist on Jukebox Jury.

"Fool, I'm a vet and you can bet
that I can dance underwater and not get wet!"


Mack 10 - Foe Life
(From Mack 10 album; 1995)



"Chickenhawk, if I see a bird then I gotta get it
So if your 'hood come up short then I prolly did it"


Mack 10 ft. Ice Cube, WC & Butch Cassidy - Connected For Life
(From Bang Or Ball album; 2001)



I'm a Connected For Life man meself usually, but Foe Life is sounding particularly formidable today. Mart 10 takes the stand, your honour I'm a changed man.

(Didn't bother to embed either song's video in this post because the Foe Life video is missing the intro, while the the Connected For Life video is the clean version. Mack10VEVO badly needs a refit.)

Thursday, 30 November 2017

Generic list post: November 2017


Obligatory wrap-up post of those songs I've played most during the month when the Luniz & Michael Marshall musta got a fat cheque from Müller's British department.

Lil' Jon - Play No Games (Instrumental) (2003)
Baby Soulja ft. Boosie Badazz - Dirty (2017)
Nef The Pharaoh - My Way (Freestyle) (2017)
70th Street Carlos & WNC Whop Bezzy - Trell (2017)
WNC Whop Bezzy & 70th Street Carlos - Chill (2017)
Wande Coal & DJ Tunez - Iskaba (2017)
Tove Lo - Bitches (2017)

Other notables: that new recording of Creek Boyz With My Team is a travesty (don't say I didn't warn you about 300 ruining songs!); the only part I like of the proper new Creek Boyz single is the intro over the Never Blink sample; Rude is the first 03 Greedo single I've kinda dug; been enjoying Yung Cat's Fat Tone homages this year but his Ima Getcha flip isn't a patch on its source material; on a similar Kansas City history-of-slaps-past tip, Rich The Factor's Luther is a way better song than his previous track of the same title; how is Ya Boy Big Choo gonna drop a Halloween song when he still hasn't released that Hustla remix he's been teasin' since frigging february?; Ma$e's The Oracle is some Joe Budden gossip-vlog fodder that isn't even a quarter as entertaining as his infamous Hot 97 argument with Jim Jones.

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